Wednesday 24 December 2008

The Cunning Cobbler

[Mood Indigo '08 was a rocking affair, but what made it even more special for me was my winning 'Twas Brillig, the creative writing contest! Contestants were required to broadly interpret and write on the topic 'Ho ho ho!' (given on the spot). Entries were to have 55 words or less. Here's the prize-bagging entry:-]

A frail ol' fella,
Sitting under his leaking roof,
Mended my leaking umbrella-
And made it leakproof.

"It's good as new,"
Said I, digging out two rupees;
"How much do I owe you,
My man, as your fees??"

At this grinned the cobbler:
"Two rupees won't do.
A 'new' umbrella, sir,
Costs hundred times two..!"

Monday 15 December 2008

Unrequited, is Un-required.

[What do you do if you like the girlfriend of a guy you dislike? You feel jealous of him, you lament over your luck, and you think she certainly deserves better, right? Wrong! It is you who deserves someone better than her. Here’s why..]

Pray tell me what it is,
In him, that you see?
What quality does he have,
That you will not find in me?

What should I do,
So you would put me above him?
For I’m still confused
As to why you love him:

Is it because he is sickly fair,
And I’m not?
For others, he is without a care,
And I’m not?
Is it because he lavishly spends,
And I don’t?
He hesitates, a helping hand to lend,
And I don’t?
Is it because he fails in studies,
And I don’t?
Or because he gets drunk in parties,
And I don’t?
Or is it because he smokes,
And I don’t?
He cracks filthy jokes,
And I don’t?

Is it because he is rude to elders,
And I’m not?
To working hard, he is averse,
And I’m not?
Too highly, of himself, he thinks,
And I don’t?
In everyone’s character, finds kinks,
And I don’t?
Is it because, the truth, he twists,
And I don’t?
For trivial matters, gets down to fists,
And I don’t?
He keeps bad company,
And I don’t?
Is it because he has vices so many,
And I don’t?

I’m still confused,
As to why you love him;
Why you succumb,
To his every whim?

When I slowly begin
To realize:
You like the qualities
That most despise.

And now- after having
Your preference understood,
I no longer feel sad,
But in fact, feel good

That you are with him,
Rather than with me;
For I do not have those vices;
With me, you would be unhappy.
So I just sit back,

And let things be.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Infant Innocence

[The first in a series of nonsensical rhymes, this was written in a particularly boring double lecture, with a little help from my dear friend Noel. Just how bored we were is for everyone to see.!]

The Grizzly Bear is huge and wild,
He hath devoured the infant child;


The infant child is not aware-
She has been eaten by the bear.


Yet, the child is playful and gay,
All she wondered was how night came from day.


In the bear’s stomach, a fluid oozes,
And covers the child in digestive juices;


So, deep inside the Grizzly’s tummy,
The girl started screaming for her mummy.


Through his food-pipe, echoed her voice;
The ground rumbled with the ensuing noise.


This sound fell on the ears of a hunter,
Who picked up his rifle, and came with a canter.


Yards away, he loaded his gun,
And pulled the trigger, ending the bear’s fun.


The bullet fled like a speeding dart,
And settled in the poor bear’s heart.


It had nearly missed the infant’s head,
But struck the mighty Grizzly dead.


The hunter, the Grizzly’s stomach slit,
And was shocked to find his daughter in it!


She was covered from head to toe in slime,
He had, it seemed, reached just in time.


The hunter tied the Grizzly well,
And dragged him along to where he dwelt.


His wife, on seeing this deadly sight,
Screamed and almost died in fright;


It wasn’t the vision of the gruesome bear,
But of her goo-some daughter that gave her the scare!


She gave her child a bubble bath,
Her husband cooked a bubbling broth.


And so, the hunter, wife and daughter,
Had bear and beer for that day’s supper.


The infant child is meek and mild,
And now, she hath eaten the Grizzly wild;

The Grizzly Bear is unaware-
He has become the infant’s fare.


Wednesday 3 December 2008

The Gift

[What does it take to make our ministers sit up and pull up their socks? Isn’t it high time our mantris took some punitive as well as preventive action against terrorism?? If this incident doesn’t make our politicians take charge of the situation, nothing will.]

The Home Minister of India came home that evening,
And remembered on seeing his daughter:
That next day, the young girl would be turning
Ten; yet he hadn’t bought any gifts for her.

The girl was on the couch- watching TV;
The minister sat himself down too.
“Tomorrow’s your birthday,” he said, “So tell me,
What gift would you like me to get you?

Speak your heart out, ask of me anything,
I can give you diamond mines- forget mere earrings;
You know I’m a minister of this country,
There’s nothing which is out of my capacity.”

And while this was being said, the little girl
Never once took her eyes off the screen;
The girl was watching a news channel,
And was appalled by what she had just seen:

Everywhere in the country, there was wanton bloodshed,
Scenes of brutal violence were being shown;
The public, sick of terror, and full of hatred
For the minister, wanted him to be overthrown.

And as another building billowed up in smoke,
The minister’s daughter finally spoke:
“Rid your nation of terror, restore tranquility-
If not for your people, at least do it for me.

“Daddy, if you give me this gift for my birthday,
I should like it more than any diamond.”
And saying this, the girl simply walked away,
Leaving her minister-father stunned.

Her words, though spoken with sheer innocence,
Were more powerful than nuclear fission;
And the only sound that broke the silence,

Was of gunshots from the television…


[The Gift was published and displayed at Kala Ghoda by the Times Group as part of a tribute to 26/11 terror victims.]

Wednesday 19 November 2008

Star-Crossed Lovers

[My interpretation of the above phrase. An attempt to knock sense into people who think sun-signs can govern our lives more than we can. If you don’t like it, well, just blame it on the misalignment of stars while you were reading it:]

The boy, he was a pucca Leo,
A proud and handsome lion;
The girl happen’d to be a Scorpio,
A stunning scorpion.

When these two first met one day,
Sparks flew all around;
Cupid struck them both, but they
In dilemma themselves found:

The Scorpio loved the Leo boy,
But held it to her breast;
Not because the girl was coy,

Scorpios are self-possessed-

‘He should say how he does feel,
Before I tell him anything.’
For if she were first to reveal,

It would tame her Scorpion sting.

The Leo loved the Scorpio too,
But his feelings did he hide;
Not because he was fattoo,
Leos are full of pride-

‘I won’t ask her out, unless
I know how she feels inside.’
For if he did, and she said “Not yes”,
It would hurt his Leonine pride.

So, Leo, of Scorpio, is forlorn,
Scorpio, for Leo, pines;
How I wish these two were born
Under different Zodiac signs!

Your love life is (as one discovers)
Affected by astrology;
Why else, instead of perfect lovers,

Both should losers be?!


Monday 6 October 2008

The Piper's Song (plays ever on)

[Your strongest enemy is the one who has outposts in your head.]


Even as the sun cast its vermilion afterglow
On a cold December sky,
I sat in solitude beside my window,
Watching the homebound motorists pass by:
Tiny, flailing specks of light,
Hastily disappearing into the depths of the night.

I continued to gaze with eyes unlifted,
When lo! a most mesmerizing note
Into my ear, with the breeze adrifted;
And I felt as if I'd begun to float:
Such was the music- enchanting and sweet,
That it swept away the ground beneath my feet.

The air was electrified by the ethereal sound;
The tune was slow, yet so sublime-
That the thoughts in my mind started spinning around,
And I was transported back in time
To the day I'd first, the Piper met,
It was a day I can never forget..

‘Twas a chilly winter morn, thirteen months back;
Dawn had still not broken,
I lay asleep snugly in my sack,
When I was, from my slumber, awoken
By a note of music- a divine melody!
That encircled my head, and echoed through my body.

The soulful tune took my breath away,
‘Twas like none other I ever had heard;
But who was playing it at this time of day?
What was the sound's source? I wondered;
I leaped from my bed, and peered o'er the window,
And saw an old man on the street below.

Dressed in rags, he trudged along,
His heavy gait, his age, betrayed;
Yet so powerful was the Piper's song-
That the leaves of trees to its rhythm swayed.
The man weaved magic with his mystical organ,
And made me want to meet this magician..

I put on a shirt o'er my nightgown,
And quickly picked up my wallet;
I bolted to the stairs- in a jiffy I was down,
And caught up with him, as fast as I could get.
The man sensing me, stopped in his track,
And pausing his song, the Piper looked back.

I smiled when I first beheld the Piper,
"My man," said I, "Thy song is divine:
I haven't heard a tune like this- ever;
Indeed there resides magic in thine
Pipe, my man, which you play so well.
But wherefrom do you come, o Piper, pray tell!

"And what is the place you are meaning to go?"
At this, the man merely raised his right hand,
And made some gestures as if to show
That though my words, he could clearly understand,
(Throwing the world into disrepute!)
This magician of a man, alas! was mute.

The mellifluous note which had made me rejoice-
(The irony caused me a great deal of hurt-)
Had emerged from the lips that were denied a voice!
I spoke thus, while I offered him my shirt:
"Take care of thy health, now that you're old,
You must not wander bare-chested in the cold.

"I humbly request, of you, a favour:
Today evening, as the light turns to dark,
I would like you to play this tune, o Piper!
In the peaceful premise of Priyadarshini Park!"
A thousand rupee bill, then from my wallet, I removed,
Which he accepted, nodding his head in gratitude.

The old man started his song again,
As back to my house, I made my way;
And when the day's first ray hit my window-pane
The heavenly music faded away..
'He's gone for now, but I shall hear him soon-
He'll be back tonight with his enchanting tune.'

That day, the date was seventeenth of November,
My sweetheart's birth anniversary;
For her, I would make it a night to remember:
After dinner, I'd ask her to marry
Me. The park would have an air of romance,
Which the Piper's song would only enhance!

I hurried to the hall, and picked up the phone,
And dialed her number, which I knew by-heart;
She said, 'Hallo!' in the jolliest of tones,
Hearing which, my pulse began to dart!
If there was one sound, the Piper couldn't beat,
It was the voice of my darling sweet!

"Hello, my love, happy birthday!!" I said;
"Thank you so much, Abhishek!"
She replied in a manner, which struck me dead!
"In the evening," I said, "I would like to take
You for dinner- I'll pick you up at eight."
"That's fabulous, honey, but don't be late!"

Then I heard her end go 'click';
There were so many things I wanted to tell her,
But now, I had to rush to office, quick!
I would, methought, save my words for later.
And all through that wonderful day at work,
My sweetheart did, in my memory lurk.

At quarter-to-eight, I reached her place;
And when I was walking through the door,
The first thing I noticed was the glow on her face;
I'd never seen her like this before;
My jaw falling to the floor, I could not suppress!
She was looking gorgeous- in a beautiful black dress.

Her long flowing tresses were left untied,
In just the way I liked them;
I held her hand and led her outside.
And though I'd seen quite many a gem,
When I looked at her eyes, for a moment I was stunned,
For they were dazzling brighter than the brightest diamond.!

We dined very well- the food was wholesome,
I'd ordered all her favourite dishes;
And now, finally, the time had come
When I'd ask her to fulfill the greatest of my wishes.
"Let us take a walk at Priyadarshini Park,"
Said I, "With the moonlight to guide us in the dark."

We hailed a cab and away we sped;
I said, "For you, I've got a surprise."
"It had better be nice!" She quickly said,
With a mischievous glint in her eyes:
I'd ne'er seen her in such a splendid mood.
(I wondered if ’twas the effect of the food!)

As we grew, to the park, nearer,
I realized how fast time had flewn;
I'd told him to come at twilight- but the Piper
Was still there- playing his enchanting tune.
"What's that divine music?" My sweetheart said,
"It feels as if it's encircling my head!"

The moonlight shone on my sweetheart's hair,
And made her look even prettier;
I couldn't sight the old man anywhere,
Though, the two of us, his tune, could hear:
The song he was playing was so heavenly,
That it felt not without, but in fact, within me.

Mesmerized by the melody, we both did stand,
I seized the perfect moment:
I lovingly clutched my sweetheart's left hand,
And down on one knee, I went,
"I love you -----, will you marry me?
I'll do everything I can to keep you happy.."

"Oh!! Abhishek! I thought you'd never propose!
I'll marry you without a doubt!"
Happily from my kneeling position I rose,
And a diamond ring, from my pocket, brought out;
And as I slid the ring o'er her finger,
My heart was beating to the tune of the Piper..

Next second, we were caught in a tight embrace,
Her eyes sparkled like stars in the dark;
And under the moonlight, the kiss that took place,
Was the longest to be witnessed by Priyadarshini Park!
By the Piper's tune, our bodies were bound,
And levitated clear above the ground!

It was post-midnight when I dropped her,
And returned back to my own dwelling.
In the morning, she would tell her father,
And let him fix the date of the wedding.
I mentally thanked the Piper before I slept-
He had, after all, his promise kept..

Next evening, my fiancée’s father called me,
Methought it was to do with the marriage;
But alas! that was not at all to be!
The news he gave, did my joy disparage.
He told me, in an utmost grief-stricken lament:
My sweetheart had died in a road accident.

After being knocked down by a drunk speed-demon,
The poor girl had bled to her death;
The coward never stopped to see the damage he'd done.
No one helped her, as she took her last breaths.
For no fault of hers, her life was taken,
For no fault of mine, my soul was broken..

Thirteen months had now gone by;
I sat in solitude beside my window,
And watched with one disdainful eye
The home-bound motorists passing below:
Tiny, murderous specks of light,
Hastily disappearing into the depths of the night.

I continued to stare with gaze unlifted,
When lo! the most haunting of melodies
Into my ear, with the breeze adrifted;
And brought back chilling memories
Of the last evening I'd spent with her,
Listening to this very tune of the Piper.

The song was the same, and yet different-
This time, the soulful tune of the Piper
Did not delight, but caused torment,
Because it reminded me of her;
And when I saw her photo on the bedroom table,
To stop my tears flowing, I was not able…

I picked up my wallet, and hurried down;
And folded my hands in front of the Piper:
"Please, my man, in this part of town,
I beg you not to play this tune ever."
Then from my purse, all the money, I removed,
Which he accepted, as if under my servitude.

From my mind, all thoughts of her, I banished:
'She will not come back, how much ever I weep.'
When I went back home, the note had vanished;
And in a short while, I fell asleep.
It was midnight when I jumped up in bed-
The song was again encircling my head..

I put on a shirt o'er my night-gown,
"Darn! This Piper won't let me live
Peacefully-" I screamed as I hurried down,
"How much more money, him, can I give?"
But once on the street, all I could see were cars-
Whizzing past me- and the twinkling stars..

The cars honked away without even slowing;
I yelled at the top of my voice-
But ‘twas drowned by the sound of the strong wind blowing;
And inspite of this surrounding noise,
I could clearly hear the chilling melody-
It was sucking out all the warmth from my body.

I searched every corner of every single alley,
Still no sign of the Piper anywhere;
The haunting tune was driving me crazy-
I began tearing my hair in despair.
I collapsed on the road- my head swirled-
Yet, not a single motorist showed a care in the world.

From where was the Piper playing his tune?
I looked to the right, left and behind,
I even looked up to see the mocking moon;
Nowhere could I, the Piper find.
And when I finally did, I wished I was dead-
The only way to get rid of the Piper in my head.

What is EZ?

erogenous zone /i roj' ə nəs/ n. A part of the human body that is particularly responsive to sexual stimulation.

- Sigmund Freud, "The Origin and Development of Psychoanalysis," The American Journal of Psychology, 1910, vol. 21, no. 2, p. 209.

eraogenous zone /i raoj' ə nəs/ n. A part of my mind that will touch you at your most vulnerable, most intimate point and keep you begging for more.

Hope you leave eraogenous zone with more of a stimulus than the one which brought me to create it in the first place.

Yours Absolutely, outRaogeous
_